i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
