I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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