Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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