dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
