He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
