don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
