Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
