So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
