Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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