So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
