I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
