we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
