don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Randomize
