I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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