are you still at the devil's house?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
