Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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