we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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