soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
