There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i dont even know how to be here
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
