All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize