It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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