it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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