That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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