Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize