Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
