is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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