Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
