Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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