You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
