wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
