Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
