My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
