The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
