What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
