I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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