You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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