yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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