You're so nebulous sometimes
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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