I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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