Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
