Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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