nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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