Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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