I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
