Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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