I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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