i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
