She announced her abortion via fbk
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
