glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
