my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
