and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
