I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize