Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i've created a new STD.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
