in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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