Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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