first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
