discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
