If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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