i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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