They should really pass out barf bags in church
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
