I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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