I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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