A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize