just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
