I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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