Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
