why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
