Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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