saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize