dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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