New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
