Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
