Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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