My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
