that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
