i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize