my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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