So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
