he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Found your dick twin last night
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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