Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
