Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just pee around me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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