EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
