Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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