Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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