can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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