my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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